How to survive an attack
For a bit of colour, we shall today be talking to survivalist Bruce McDonald.
cfn: So Mr McDonald, tell us a bit about yourself and why you feel being prepared for the worst is so important.
BM: I'd prefer to keep personal details out of this, you never know who's listening. As for preparation I suggest you have a well cleaned gun, plenty of fresh water and a working knowledge of agricultural equipment.
cfn: Is that in case you have to grow your own crops?
BM: Nope it's so you know how to keep blades sharp and what to do when your chainsaw runs outta gas, mid melee.
cfn: doesn't melee mean combat?
BM: Sure does.
cfn: with a chainsaw?
BM: Not just a chainsaw, I got axes, pistols, shotguns even a steam roller.
cfn: aren't steam rollers a bit big and slow for combat?
BM: No bigger and slower than the hoards that'll descend on us any day and they make great squishing sounds.
cfn: right.....I think I'm going to have to cut this interview short. Besides your guests must be missing you.
BM : Guests?
cfn: as I turned up they were arriving in the garden a lot of guys in Halloween costumes, seemed a little early but they're out there now and seem to be moaning that your not there.