How to survive an attack

For a bit of colour, we shall today be talking to survivalist Bruce McDonald.

cfn: So Mr McDonald, tell us a bit about yourself and why you feel being prepared for the worst is so important.

BM: I'd prefer to keep personal details out of this, you never know who's listening. As for preparation I suggest you have a well cleaned gun, plenty of fresh water and a working knowledge of agricultural equipment.

cfn: Is that in case you have to grow your own crops?

BM: Nope it's so you know how to keep blades sharp and what to do when your chainsaw runs outta gas, mid melee.

cfn: doesn't melee mean combat?

BM: Sure does.

cfn: with a chainsaw?

BM: Not just a chainsaw, I got axes, pistols, shotguns even a steam roller.

cfn: aren't steam rollers a bit big and slow for combat?

BM: No bigger and slower than the hoards that'll descend on us any day and they make great squishing sounds.

cfn: right.....I think I'm going to have to cut this interview short. Besides your guests must be missing you.

BM : Guests?

cfn: as I turned up they were arriving in the garden a lot of guys in Halloween costumes, seemed a little early but they're out there now and seem to be moaning that your not there.

BM: Groovy.